Lockmeupology: Happy Holidays

I'll be traveling with my family during the Christmas holiday, so I'll be taking a blogging break.

I truly wish you all a fantastic, safe and happy holidays. 

And have FUN on New Years Eve! 

and then tell me all about it (;

But before I go, I want to leave you all with these inspiring words from Grumpy Cat.

I love Grumpy Cat, possibly because I can 

relate all too well at times.

:D

And never forget...

Have a good one and see you all in January. (;

IWSG

Today, I have no insecurities.

Today, I have no regrets.

Today is special.

Today, is my son's fourth birthday.

I will not worry about my writing. I will not give self-doubt a second thought. I will however, have a wonderful day celebrating with my children. We will blow balloons, open presents, and eat cake and ice cream, and I will not worry about my diet. We will dance to silly songs, make  homemade Christmas decorations and celebrate with family and friends. 

Tomorrow, I will deal with my self-inflicted issues, but not today. 

Thanks to everyone stopping by today. I'll be sure to make my rounds and visit you guys tomorrow. But if insecurities are getting  in your way today, then go around them, go under them, or get into your spaceship and blast over them. You're a writer and you can do anything.   (:

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And if my sources are correct, DL Hammons over at Crusing Altitude, host of Write Club and Carrie Butler, author of the soon to be released book Strength, are also having birthdays today *throws confetti*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday DL and Carrie :D

You Say You Love Me, But You Want Me To Die

I'll be willing to bet, 100 internet points, that most people reading this post will recognize the following lullaby. 

Rock-a-bye baby, on the treetop,

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock,

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,

And down will come baby, cradle and all.

Rock-a-bye baby is undoubtedly one of the most common lullabies sung to children throughout most of the English speaking world, and the calming melody has helped guide many fussy babies to the land of sleep and dreams. Beautiful song. Sure, that is until you actually read the words and realize you're singing about premeditated MURDER of your innocent child! It's not a beautiful song, it's horrifying and it will forever baffle me as to how anyone could sing that to their children. 

"Clam down Elise, it's not about murder. And the origins of this lullaby/poem are highly debatable at best. Besides, infants don't understand the words anyway." 

"No, you're right. But YOU do, and one day they will, too. Now stop interrupting my rant."

I understand that for the most part,  lullabies and fairy tales are used to teach children principals and important life lessons. But no matter how hard I try to analyze Rock-a-Bye Baby, I still can't get the image out of my mind of someone putting a child in the tree tops on a windy day and letting it fall. To the ground. So, with that ray of sunshine, I knew I could never sing this to my children, but in all honesty, I've always enjoyed the melody. 

Now, being one who complains with the best of them before actually doing something about it, I decided after the birth of my first child, to write my own lyrics. And guess what, it's 100 times better because it's not about murder! It's about love, and feeling protected, and I'd like to share it with you guys. You can sing it to the exact same tune and I even managed to stretch the song out into three verses by simply changing the last couple words. Plus, you can personalized the song by adding the child's name in the beginning. Now
 how cool is that?! Very. (:    

Here's my version: Rock-a-Bye Baby Revisited.

Rock-a-bye [insert child's name here], in mommy's arms,

When you are sleeping, she's never far, 

She loves you dearly, as you can see, 

So don't be afraid, and sleep well baby.

Rock-a-bye [insert child's name here], in mommy's arms,

When you are sleeping, she's never far, 

She loves you dearly, as you can see, 

So don't be afraid, and sleep well for me.

Rock-a-bye [insert child's name here], in mommy's arms,

When you are sleeping, she's never far, 

She loves you dearly, as you can see, 

So don't be afraid, and sleep well chérie.

__

You know what the best part of this whole thing is? My kids, who are now 6 and almost 4, will still ask me to sing this song to them (though for my son, I have to leave out the first verse because he doesn't like being called a baby, lol). Anyway, hope you enjoyed this version as much as we do. Feel free to take it, change it around if you want, or not, make it your own but what ever you do, quit singing the old verse to your kids, sheesh!  (:    

******
If you guys come up with a different version, let me know! I'd love to hear it. (: 

Doo-Doo Talk

Raising bilingual children can really be a hoot. My kids (6yrs and almost 4yrs) have learned to naturally shift from one language to the other depending on the situation. However, there are times when a word or two gets carried over into the wrong language. One of those words is "doudou" used by French children when referring to their favorite stuffed animal, blanky, doll, etc. I believe it comes from the phrase "tout doux" which means, soft all over. Kids who have trouble pronouncing the T in "tout", end up saying something like "dou" which becomes "doudou." The word "doudou" on its own sounds soft and gentile when spoken in French. The problem is it's pronounced "doo-doo" and my son, whether he speaks in French or in English, always refers to his favorite toy rabbit as his "doo-doo." So, you can imagine some of the funny conversations we've had with this.  

Son:  "Mommy, I can't find my doo-doo."
Me: "Can't you sleep with another one?" (I know, I know, stupid question...)

Son: "I don't want you to clean my doo-doo!"
Me:  "I have to, it's way too dirty." (Heavy negotiations ensue...)

Son: "My doo-doo wants to eat at the table."
Me: "Fine, but if you play instead of eat, I'll have to put it away." (sure mom, whatever you say...)

But sometimes even I slip up:

"No, you can't take your doo-doo into the store, it has to stay in the car."

"Please don't make him cry, give him back his doo-doo."

"Oh, no. Looks like I'm going to have to sew up your doo-doo."

So the other day while driving my kids to school, I tried explaining why we needed to stop saying "doudou" when we speak English and instead use the term "stuffed animal." Of course they asked why, and the moment my kids found out that "doo-doo" is just another word for "poo-poo" in English, they laughed, and laughed so hard, even I was cracking up, and by the time we got to school my kids were saying stuff like:
     
      "You sleep with poo-poo!"
                       "HAHAHAAHAHAH!"

      "You play with your poo-poo!" 
                       "HAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!"
  
I don't know why but at that age, anything having to do with poo or pee is the most hilarious thing with kids.  Anyway, we're still having fun with the word "doudou", though I wonder how long it's going to take before the word "stuffed animal" finally takes it's rightful position in my son's vocabulary...I have a feeling it may take a while, lol! 

The doudou. (:

Head Lice Do Not Jump

Ok, so today I’m going off on a bit of a rant. I usually don’t vent over the internet (because so many of you do it much better than moi) but seriously, this is starting to bug me. So prepare yourself for a longish post. I don’t expect you to read it all but if you have kids in elementary school I suggest you at least skim it, read the summary at the bottom and look at the pretty pictures at the end. The rest of you can read on a diagonal like you ALWAYS do. You know who you are… :P

Okay, ready?

Head lice Flea

If you’ve got kids in preschool or elementary, chances are you’ve had to deal with head lice. Second week of elementary school and I’ve already had to treat my daughter for the little buggers. So why am I bringing this up? Because I hear people say the dumbest things when it comes to head lice. It’s important to know the difference because you don’t treat a flea infestation the same way you treat head lice. DUH!!

First, if your child gets head lice, it doesn’t automatically mean you lack proper hygiene or are generally dirty. Head lice couldn't care less about cleanliness. They are there to suck your blood and reproduce, period. Head lice also don’t care if your skin color is yellow, black, white, green, beige, pink or any other color. And surprise, it doesn't care if you’re rich, poor or have a 401K plan either. As long as you are a warm, living, breathing person with hair on your head (Mark, if you didn't have kids, I'd tell you to stop reading now) then head lice will love you. The only people head lice do not care much for are zombies. So parents, do me a favour and QUIT FEELING EMBARRASSED IF YOUR CHILDREN GET HEAD LICE! Plus, you're making your child feel embarrassed and uneasy about a situation they cannot control.

Still with me? Great, here’s a brownie.

RECOGNITION:  Adult head lice (Pediculus humanus capitatus DeGeer) are tiny, about this à -- ß long (~ 2.4 - 3.7mm) They are also wingless (yes that means they CAN’T fly). They are also, watch out big word coming up, dorsoventrally flattened (flat like a pancake or a flounder (dorso = back, ventral = stomach)). 

And yes it’s important to know how they are built because it will help you distinguish head lice from fleas which are flattened vertically. And proper identification of blood sucking insects makes you look like less of a tool around people who can’t distinguish a roach from a stink bug.

Ok, back to head lice.

These insects vary in color depending on how much they had for breakfast or if they’ve just molted. They can go from a dark brown or black to a greyish/murky yellow color. They have six legs with large claws for grasping around hairs (this means they do NOT jump) and will stick their eggs (nits) to individual hairs on your head, usually near the scalp (this means they do NOT lay their eggs in clothing, on pillow cases or in the bed). Only fleas leave the host to lay their little camouflaged eggs in strategic locations.

Do I have to explain where pubic lice lay their eggs? No? Great. Let’s move on.

Geez, I’m an ex entomologist and all this talk about head lice is even making me scratch my head!

BIOLOGY:  If you've made it this far, you get a free t-shirt and a hug. Ha, just kidding and keep reading!

Head lice live CONTINUOUSLY ON THE HOST and for all practical purposes occur on the head unless they are dislodged by scratching, or towel drying or by exchanging hats, combs, brushes, etc. Also, they cannot survive for very long if they cannot feed, so there's really no need to freak out and sterilize the whole house. But, changing the bedding and washing your child’s favorite stuffed animal and hat/scarf won’t hurt. Besides, they probably need washing anyway. Now, if we were talking about fleas, then we’d have to do some serious cleaning...preferably, with a blow torch. :P

Anyway, female lice lay approximately 50-100 pearly white nits that are about this  à - ß long (0.8mm). That is pretty fricking tiny but it can be seen by the naked eye. And once you’ve spotted them once or twice, they get easier to find. (HINT: If you suspect head lice, the first place to check are the hairs close to the back of the neck, near the scalp). It takes 5 – 10 days for the eggs to hatch and they go through 3 nymphal instars. All that really means is it takes about 3 weeks to complete a life cycle from egg to egg.

TREATMENT:  The most common treatment is the use of a shampoo called a pediculicide and comb out the adults and nits (btw, pediculicide is just a fancy word that means something that kills lice, which is convenient for companies that don’t want to use the evil INSECTICIDE word when referring to a product that’s applied to your child’s head). In any event, you should talk to your doctor first and take into consideration allergies your child may have. But you should be aware that there is no treatment that is 100% safe and effective on 100% of the patients. Read, understand, and please, please, FOLLOW the label. If the product says retreat in 10 days, then DO IT. The increase in resistance is largely due to people not following simple directions. God please don’t get me started on resistance……this post is long enough……

Anyway, the safest way to get rid of head lice is by properly and regularly using a nit comb. But I know that can be time consuming especially if your child has long, thick, and/or curly hair. The choice is yours. As far as oils such as lavender or tea tree oil … I've never found them to be very effective as a deterrent…but that’s my experience and it still may work for you.

SUMMARY: (FUN FACTS!) are you still scratching your head?

• DO NOT FEEL EMBARRASSED IF YOUR CHILD GETS HEAD LICE
• Head lice do not discriminate and getting them doesn’t mean you are dirty or poor
• For all practical purposes, head lice remain on the host unless dislodged
• Head lice do not jump or fly or swim or play air guitar
• Nits (eggs) are cemented to individual hairs
• Safest way to remove head lice is with a nit comb
• Head lice have flattened bodies like a pancake (unlike fleas that look like they got squashed in an elevator (vertically))
• Call your doctor for treatment options
• FOLLOW the directions on the product label for treatments
• Wash bedding and hats/scarves, clean hair brushes and combs etc.
• And Elliot Grace over at So close, but... added this excellent piece of advice: "The most important rule I've learned...Do Not Panic! Stress can, and will most likely lead to an impatient clean up, promoting a second batch of hatchlings, and another mess."

Adult head lice
source: wikipedia.org

THE MORE YOU KNOW... 

Back to School and Back to My Regularly Scheduled Life

Typical school bus sign in this region

It's  back to school today in France and I know a mother isn't supposed to be super thrilled to see her little devils angels off to school but.......I'm going to make an effort to be a little happy because I'm  going to miss hearing:

"Mommy he kicked me!"
"But I was playing with it!"
"No! It's MINE."
"Mommy! I did poo poo potty."
"Mommy, can I have a tent?"
"Give it back!"


And I'm going to miss saying:

"Stop running in the house."
"Stop jumping on the couch."
"Leave the dog alone."
"Don't hit your sister."
"Why did you kick your brother?"
"No, you can't eat chicken wings for breakfast."
"What did I just say?"
"Are you listening to me?"
"No."

"NO."


Kidding aside, I must admit the kids and I had a great time this summer, especially during our trip to the States. However, these last few days before school have been a bit difficult. So yes, I did enjoy my stroll back home from the bus stop this morning. The calm and cool September air felt almost therapeutic. And now, it's still early and I get to sit at the computer, write, and enjoy tea while it's still hot.

Now don't get me wrong, when I pick up the kiddos for lunch I'm going to be thrilled and will bombard them with questions on how their morning went. But until then, I'm going to simply enjoy a slice of piece and quiet and get in some solid writing time.

Typical September walk to the
bus stop in the morning fog.

Typical French school bus.

J for Juvenile Hormone

Since you made it this far, might as well keep reading. Plus, I bet (100 internet points) by the time you get to the end you'll realize you've already come across this topic in stories and books before. (:

FUN FACTS!!

Juvenile Hormone (JV) is an insect growth regulator. It regulates development and reproduction in insects. As long as there is enough JH in the body, the insect will continue to moult (shed their exoskeleton, remember from E post?) from larval to larval state. With lower levels of JH, the insect will moult from larval to pupal stage and the complete absence of JH results in the formation of the adult. But it doesn't  work that way for all insects. In honey bees JH acts differently, but I'll spare you all! 

"So what?" you say.
"Keep reading," I say.

Synthetic analogues of JH have been developed and used as an effective pest management tool against insect infestations. The high levels of JH released into the atmosphere prevents larvae from developing into adult insects. If an insect can't reach the adult stage they cannot reproduce!  AH-HA!! And because JH is target specific, it should have little effect on people and other non-insect organisms. I use the word "should" because research is still ongoing with respect to its effect on non-target organism.  

But there are drawbacks. One, JH itself is expensive to synthesize therefore costly to use in a pest management program. Second, JH needs to be released in an enclosed area with little to no draft/air currents that would subsequently blow the JH away. Thirdly, it will not eradicate a pest infestation right away. It will take time before all the pests have died out. And lastly, JH does not discriminate between pest and beneficial insects. Caution should be used when using JH as an insecticide to insure beneficials will not be impacted.

So does JH ring any bells?

Think, where have you heard/read this before....

I know you have....(:

Think...think....think......

Ok, give up?

.
.
.

That's right, insects in a sense have created the Fountain of Youth long before people dreamt it up! Just think what a great wip idea this could be....young scientist researching an easier way to synthsize JH when she/he accidentily creates the fountain of youth! What could go wrong? Everything!!!  Now take this and run with it! And when your book becomes an international best seller, remember to cite me in the credits unless, I beat you to it. (;

Now, cough up the 100 i points.