Lockmeupology- Condom to the Left, Condom to the Right

Once upon a time, a girl went driving through the beautiful French countryside. She drank in the beauty of the endless fields of lavender and sunflower. She drove down countless old tree-lined roads, squealed over the charming country chateaux, and marveled at the architecture of each fortified town she drove through.

"Oh look, an intersection up ahead with more cute signs! 

I wonder where I should go next."

"Oh well, I guess no matter which road I take, I know I'll be safe!"

Elizabeth Seckman, France, and Fate Intended

Hi there! I'm here with the fabulous Elizabeth Seckman. She's published several books and is an all around wonderful person, I'm thrilled to have her stop by my humble blog. Today, we're gonna talk about the French and the love shared between siblings, as well as Elizabeth’s new book, Fate Intended.

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Hello Elise!

Bonjour Elizabeth!

Long ago, you posted a get-to-know-Elise video (it was marvelous, by the way). In that video, you said some French people wonder...does America really hate France?

Yes, I remember that video. I still live in France and I've gotten that question a few times, especially during the time right after 911.

Lafayette at the Battle of Yorktown

Wow. What a sad question.

It really is, Elizabeth. 

If America ever had a solid friend, it's France.

I will venture to say, there would be no United States of America without France.

It was the French who had our back in the Revolutionary War against the British crown.

Without French gold, blood,and brains...the American Revolution might have gone down in history as a failed revolt.

I agree, Elizabeth--Vive la France! :)

So much gold was spent, the French government was deep in dept.

There were more French soldiers at the Battle of Yorktown (1781) than American. And that battle was a turning point in the war and it turned the war in our favor, thanks to the leadership of the Marquis deLayette (a French dude...can't you tell by the name?)

Yep, and one of his most famous quotes was: "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." 

Thank you France!

Our victory against England was signed, sealed, and a new country was delivered by the Treaty of Paris.

France even gave us our symbol of freedom. Yes, Lady Liberty welcomes her huddled masses with a smile and, “Bonjour!”

Bonjour!

So, see? France is like our big brother. And granted, sometimes big brothers and little brothers fuss, but behind every noogie and wedgie...there is real love.

I can't agree with you more, Elizabeth. France and the US are the best of siblings. And speaking of siblings, in your latest book Fate Intended, a hansome devil named Trip also happens to have siblings as well! Can you tell us a bit more about the story?  :) 

Fate Intended is the third book in the Coulter Men Series.  Trip is the last of the Coulter sons to find love. He’s a handsome man with all the skills a young spy needs to succeed. But when it comes to love, he misses the target. Jane is a sweet beauty who may or may not be wanted for murder. She’s hiding out as a cleaning lady when chance brings her and Trip together. It looks like a happily ever after is in the cross hairs until reality tries to destroy what fate has intended.

Elizabeth Seckman is a simple chick with a simple dream…to write stories people want to read.

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Is This Customary For You Too?

     

     In France, when you're invited to someone's home for a meal or even for drinks, it's customary to bring a little something for your host. It's an unspoken rule and doesn't have to be a big deal, a bottle of wine, sweets or flowers. The idea is to avoid showing up with your hands in your pockets. Recently, I hosted a dinner party for ten people and my guests showed up with a beautiful contemporary composition of flowers and wine. I didn't ask for any of this of course, but I was pretty sure they would show up with something. Another thing about dinner parties over here is that they last for hours and my guests didn't leave until well past 1am. The evening started around 7pm with l'apéro (casual drinks and starters, usually in the living room or outside - I love this part), then we moved to the dinner table around 9pm for the main course, dessert, and finish up with coffee (espresso) and a digestif around midnight. By the time people were ready to leave it was almost 2am. I try to keep this in mind when I'm invited to a friends house for dinner. If it's someone I know pretty well, I'll offer to bring the desert and it's always accepted and expected. However, I rarely stay that late, and have use my kids as an excuse to get home by midnight if I can. (;   Now when I invite close friends over, things can be a little more relaxed but I always get the question, "What do you want me to bring?" to which I reply, "How about dessert?"

So I was wondering if any of this sounded familiar to you where you're from. Do dinner parties last long or do people leave at a reasonable hour? How are you received as a guest and how do you receive as a host? Do you feel obligated to bring something when invited to dinner or are things more relaxed where you're from. 

Just curious. (: 

Scarier than a Steven King Novel: Driving in Paris, France (it’s Misery)

When I moved to France almost 10 years ago, I had never driven outside the US. I was accustomed to clearly visible street signs, the grid system, stop and go traffic, 4 way stop signs, big bulky automatic cars, defensive driving, and bumper stickers.

But when I got to Paris, I had to forget everything I thought I knew about driving, because it would only get me killed. In a nut shell, driving in Paris was like being trapped in a huge pinball machine with multiple balls flying at me from every direction.  Quick, TILT!

At the time, my job was 70% field work which required extensive driving in Paris, intra-muros (the city within the beltway). The first day driving, I followed a colleague and tailgated her so closely, I could have changed her radio station. Not a safe way to drive, but I was a stressed out wreck, afraid of getting lost, and I was driving a Twingo which is nothing but a glorified tuna can on wheels. Meep, Meep. When I got home that night, I cried. But, got up the next day and gave it another go. And over the next few months I began adjusting to a new country, a new job, a clutch, a new language, etc, and I also learned to get used to insane things like:

 “Priorité à droite” (priority to the right).

This crazy little law states that while driving along a road, anyone joining from your right hand side has priority over the main road on which you are driving. Come again? That means they do not have to stop. Hun? Instead, you have to slow down and let them merge no matter what road they were on!? It’s a pretty dangerous law imo especially for foreigners, but don’t worry, this driving rule is not widely used anymore! Nope, you just have to guess if the French driver up ahead is going to yield or shoot out in front of you. No sweat :/

Itty, bitty, confusing as heck street signs.

Street signs: means to give drivers invaluable information, like what street I’m driving on! It’s the best method to help you get from point A to point B without having to go through the North Pole first. I believe

French street signs are actually a national inside joke, made to confuse and infuriate foreign drivers. The signs in the city are small, often located far off the street and nailed to the side of a building usually behind a bus stop.  Brilliant.  And don’t think these babies are lit up at night either. In short, Parisian street signs are more useful on a hook as decoration in your kitchen.

Traffic circles / roundabouts

Another thing I had to get used to, traffic circles. Though I must admit, I now prefer traffic circles that maintain a certain flow, over traffic lights that bring cars to a halt. You just have to make sure it’s a real traffic circle (where you yield to those already in the circle) as opposed to the fake traffic circles where you have priority, but must yield to on coming traffic on your right! Luckily, I didn’t have to deal with too many of the latter.

So really, traffic circles weren't that bad, with one exception: Driving around Surviving Place de l'Étoile. You know, the big traffic circle with the Arc de Triomphe stuck on top. First, don’t let the name fool you. It’s not a traffic circle, it’s a Sphere of Hell. It has at least 12 different streets dumping into it and the only way you find yourself there is through unfortunate circumstances (you couldn't read the tiny street sign and took another wrong turn) and voilà, welcome to driving hell. Now, you find yourself having to cross over 6, unmarked lanes of spastic, high-speed traffic or be condemned in spending the rest of your life driving around in circles. How did I survive Place de l’Etoile? Two words: Aggressive driving. 

Aggressive Driving

This is the only way to drive safely in Paris imo. Ignore what the cars are doing or want to do beside you, or behind you. Now, don’t confuse aggressive with reckless. French drivers may be aggressive but they are not necessarily reckless and they will avoid hitting you if you are in front. Therefore, keep your eyes only on what’s in front of you and GO! Learn to use the gas peddle, accelerate hard or get run over. This is where knowing how to use a stick shift is so important!

After several months of driving in the city, I still hadn’t gotten used to it and it remained a stressful exercise until the day I finally purchased a PalmPilot with GPS! Do they even make PalmPilots anymore? Anyway, GPS saved what was left of my sanity and removed most of the stress of driving in the city. I no longer worried about missing the sign for a street that I wouldn't be able to read anyway. Getting lost was no longer an issue, GPS would recalculate. And I could now successfully avoid the Sphere of Hell. YEAH!

After two years living in Paris, I finally moved to the countryside where driving is much more reasonable and nothing like Paris. But sometimes, I do miss the excitement. Ha, just kidding!