Friday 14 December 2012

DEJA VU Blogfest


DL Hammons over at Crusing Altitude is hosting Write Club the Déjà Vu Blogfest! The idea is simple, re-post one of your favorite posts from 2012, or one that never received the exposure it should have. 

I never know what to post for these kinds of blogfests because it feels like only yesterday I started blogging. And technically, I've only been here since February, so yeah my blog is still in diapers. However, I did come across this post that I wrote after a good solid month of blogging under my belt. Some of you may remember this one (my apologies in advance, you may run now while you still can :p ).  The rest of you better hold on, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

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Scarier than a Steven King Novel: Driving in Paris, France (it’s Misery)



When I moved to France almost 10 years ago, I had never driven outside the US. I was accustomed to clearly visible street signs, the grid system, stop and go traffic, 4 way stop signs, big bulky automatic cars, defensive driving, and bumper stickers.

But when I got to Paris, I had to forget everything I thought I knew about driving, because it would only get me killed. In a nut shell, driving in Paris was like being trapped in a huge pinball machine with multiple balls flying at me from every direction.  Quick, TILT!

At the time, my job was 70% field work which required extensive driving in Parisintra-muros (the city within the beltway). The first day driving, I followed a colleague and tailgated her so closely, I could have changed her radio station. Not a safe way to drive, but I was a stressed out wreck, afraid of getting lost, and I was driving a Twingo which is nothing but a glorified tuna can on wheels. Meep, Meep. When I got home that night, I cried. But, got up the next day and gave it another go. And over the next few months I began adjusting to a new country, a new job, a clutch, a new language, etc, and I also learned to get used to insane things like:

 “Priorité à droite” (priority to the right).

This crazy little law states that while driving along a road, anyone joining from your right hand side has priority over the main road on which you are driving. Come again? That means they do not have to stop. Hun? Instead, you have to slow down and let them merge no matter what road they were on!? It’s a pretty dangerous law imo especially for foreigners, but don’t worry, this driving rule is not widely used anymore! Nope, you just have to guess if the French driver up ahead is going to yield or shoot out in front of you. No sweat :/

Itty, bitty, confusing as heck street signs.

Street signs: means to give drivers invaluable information, like what street I’m driving on! It’s the best method to help you get from point A to point B without having to go through the North Pole first. I believe
French street signs are actually a national inside joke, made to confuse and infuriate foreign drivers. The signs in the city are small, often located far off the street and nailed to the side of a building usually behind a bus stop.  Brilliant.  And don’t think these babies are lit up at night either. In short, Parisian street signs are more useful on a hook as decoration in your kitchen.


Traffic circles / roundabouts

Another thing I had to get used to, traffic circles. Though I must admit, I now prefer traffic circles that maintain a certain flow, over traffic lights that bring cars to a halt. You just have to make sure it’s a real traffic circle (where you yield to those already in the circle) as opposed to the fake traffic circles where you have priority, but must yield to on coming traffic on your right! Luckily, I didn’t have to deal with too many of the latter.

So really, traffic circles weren't that bad, with one exception: Driving around Surviving Place de l'Étoile. You know, the big traffic circle with the Arc de Triomphe stuck on top. First, don’t let the name fool you. It’s not a traffic circle, it’s a Sphere of Hell. It has at least 12 different streets dumping into it and the only way you find yourself there is through unfortunate circumstances (you couldn't read the tiny street sign and took another wrong turn) and voilà, welcome to driving hell. Now, you find yourself having to cross over 6, unmarked lanes of spastic, high-speed traffic or be condemned in spending the rest of your life driving around in circles. How did I survive Place de l’Etoile? Two words: Aggressive driving. 


Aggressive Driving

This is the only way to drive safely in Paris imo. Ignore what the cars are doing or want to do beside you, or behind you. Now, don’t confuse aggressive with reckless. French drivers may be aggressive but they are not necessarily reckless and they will avoid hitting you if you are in front. Therefore, keep your eyes only on what’s in front of you and GO! Learn to use the gas peddle, accelerate hard or get run over. This is where knowing how to use a stick shift is so important!

After several months of driving in the city, I still hadn’t gotten used to it and it remained a stressful exercise until the day I finally purchased a PalmPilot with GPS! Do they even make PalmPilots anymore? Anyway, GPS saved what was left of my sanity and removed most of the stress of driving in the city. I no longer worried about missing the sign for a street that I wouldn't be able to read anyway. Getting lost was no longer an issue, GPS would recalculate. And I could now successfully avoid the Sphere of Hell. YEAH!

After two years living in Paris, I finally moved to the countryside where driving is much more reasonable and nothing like Paris. But sometimes, I do miss the excitement. Ha, just kidding!

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Thanks DL for hosting DEJA VU! Today is a crazy day for me and it'll be an even crazier weekend (gotta practice my prancing) so I want to apologize in advance if I have trouble visiting blogs today but I'll get to them over the course of the next few days. Hope everyone has a great weekend!
(:

54 comments:

  1. Hey,

    I never drove in Paris, but now I simply must add it to my bucket list :)

    After driving in SoCal for three years, Paris can't be that bad :)

    PS.. CONGRATS on winning FIRST PLACE in ALEXFEST!!!

    You bloody well go!!!! :)

    I'm soooooo chuffed for you :)

    (Can I put in an order for a Mini-me Bald Hawaiian :)

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    1. PS: OMG? Really? I'm on the way =====>
      Oh, and a Mini-Madman K in a grass skirt would be epic!
      (;

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  2. I could do the aggressive driving. Oh wait, I already do that.
    Katie (Creepy Query Girl) lives in France and she's talked about the crazy driving on several occasions. I lived in London for a while and not once did I ever attempt driving in that town. It's pretty insane there as well.
    I can do a clutch though!

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    1. I think everyone should at least learn to drive a manual. I like them better than automatics, even in stop and go traffic. And yes, I heard about CQG, I need to swap stories with her. (:

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  3. YOU are so brave! I know a few Spheres of Hell-they are wicked!
    I got stuck in one once~

    Congrats on winning the AlexFest and your Ninja really did rock!
    You are so creative :D

    I haven't been to France, maybe someday...

    I thought driving in Hawaii was an adventure! ;D

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    1. Oh, I didn't feel brave, I was scared out of my mind in the beginning but I didn't have a choice once I was out there. But now I'm glad I did it. I hope you do get a chance to visit France it is a beautiful country and what's great about Paris is they have a wonderful subway system so you don't have to worry about driving. (:

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  4. Hi Elise .. congratulations on winning Alex' blogfest with your brilliant plywood little man - it looks so good! They do drive mighty fast, and very close together ... Sphere of Hell - haven't heard that before ..

    Look after yourself ... cheers Hilary

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    1. Thank you Hilary! I had a wonderful time but I'm exhausted, the day just flew by.... (:

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  5. LOL -- fun post! I think all big-city driving echoes this: The drivers believe in defensive driving, but they also believe that the best defense is to have a strong offense. ;^)

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    1. ...and the French believe in getting there first. :D

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  6. I remember this post! That's insane. And I thought driving in the US was bad. DC had a ton of round-abouts too. I remember living there and learning how they designed the streets/buildings to emulate Paris.

    Have a great weekend. :)

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    1. And I remember your comment, too. Something to the effect that you liked someone finally admitting to aggressive driving. That made me laugh. :D

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  7. Paris sounds very unfriendly for aged folks. I guess the small street signs and other annoying things come from the fact that Paris is so ancient.

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    1. Actually Michael, Paris is great for aged folks because they don't need a car. Paris has a wonderful subway system and just about anything you really need is in walking distance.

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  8. Hah! I've never driven in a foreign country, but have been to Paris and so I can kinda relate. You're very brave, Elise! And congratulations on winning the Alexfest! WooHoo!

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    1. Thank you Gwen! I actually haven't driven in Paris now for a few years and now when I do go, I use the metro. Paris has a great subway system. (:

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  9. Loved this post! Having been to Paris for the first time a couple of years ago, I agree with your assessments 100%. Be aggressive or don't drive. I'll say this: We stayed near the Arch, and there are basically no lines in what amounts to a massive 'roundabout' around the monument--we didn't see a single accident during our several day stay! I don't know how they do it, because there's very little indication of where you 'should' be driving. Lots of horn honking, I suppose. :-) Amazing to watch, really.

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    1. Isn't it insane! But somehow, in all that confusion, it works. And I've come to realize that about the French for a lot of things. Something can be confusing and inefficient as hell, but in the end, it all just comes together and works out. It's a French thing I guess. :D

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  10. I'm glad you selected this one! It's before I found your blog, and it's hilarious. Blogging for ten months, or ten years, it fit in perfect today!!

    Thank you for taking part with us today! Now get to work on that prancing!! :)

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    1. Thanks DL for hosting and sorry the post was so long. But, it was a lot of fun sharing this again. (:

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  11. way to go el... on all fronts :)

    and yeah, this is bloody hilarious :D

    glad you and the kiddies don't have to face parisian traffic daily!

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  12. Oh man, I can barely handle driving in San Francisco, I think Paris is out for me-although I do prefer stick, so that counts for something, right? If I ever chance it (and by a miracle get to visit France) I will, at all costs, avoid the Sphere of Hell. I can see myself circling it for all eternity, worse even than Dante's Inferno.

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    1. LOL! Well, I hope you do get a chance to visit France and good news, the Sphere of Hell can be avoided by simply taking the metro. That's my preferred method of transportation around Paris these days. (:

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  13. Yay!! Congrats on winning 1st place in the blogfest! YOU ROCK GIRL!

    I remember this "driving" post VERY WELL. We met via this post!
    I enjoyed the re-read. * chuckles*

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    1. Thank you so much Michelle! And I'm so glad this post brought us together. It makes it that much more special. (:

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  14. Not my driving preference. I'm more an open road kind of guy. I can deal with urban driving, but I'd rather not.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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    1. Oh, you would hate it in Paris Lee, lol. But after a while, I did get used to driving like a lunatic like everyone else. :D

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  15. Driving in Atlanta, where there are like six high-speed lanes of traffic in each direction, and everybody's zigzagging through traffic and changing lanes more often than I change sock, is more than enough of a challenge for me. I used to think I wanted to visit Paris someday. Um, maybe not. Not to drive, anyway.

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    1. Oh, yes please come visit Paris. It's not that bad as long as you take the metro! (: I've only been to Atlanta once, years ago and what shocked me was the cost of parking!

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  16. Oh, I would be toast. We have speed and volume, but the roads are pretty straightforward, with clear signage. I'm glad you chose this post for your re-do!

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    1. Oh, thanks Jenny, glad you liked it. It was difficult getting used to it at first, but after a while and getting honked at, a lot, I started to get the hang of it. Miracle really.... (:

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  17. I cannot imagine getting thrown into a whole new way of driving like that. I'd be a wreck! We have 'roundabouts' here, too, but we call them rotaries. And none of them can match The Sphere of Hell, lol.

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    1. Rotaries, I've never heard them called that, cool. And I do believe the Sphere of Hell is a one of a kind, lol!

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  18. Saying hello from the blogfest... What you described here sounds like something out of a video game! Good for you for surviving the driving arena in Europe. When I visited Paris years ago, we took either a bus or train everywhere we went. If I ever need to drive anywhere in Europe, I'll try remembering the insights you shared here.

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    1. I've never taken the bus but I do enjoy the subway system in Paris. It can get you just about anywhere though it does get kind of smelly in the summer. :D

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  19. OH -- this brings me back to my only visit to Paris, and I wasn't driving! My husband (then my boyfriend) and I were on a tour. 13 countries in 10 days or something ridiculous like that. We toured the city in a bus, and Bob and I happened to be sitting up front with a great view out the panoramic front window. Holy crap! Cars driving on the sidewalk. Cars ramming themselves into parking spots by backing into other cars and "pushing." Egads!

    This summer we visited Mexico City, where the traffic is supposed to be horrendous. But after watching out the taxi window, we looked at each other and said, "Not as bad as Paris."

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    1. 13 countries in 10 days! That's crazy but I like it! And LOL, I've done the car nudge thing to get myself into a parking spot! It's really common practice as long as you don't actually damage the car you're nudging, parking spots in Paris are rare and people will do what they can to get their car to fit. (:

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  20. They've started utilizing roundabouts here in Colorado Springs quite a bit; all the new neighborhoods/shopping areas have them. I do actually prefer them to traffic lights except for the fact that no one understands how to use them. Your experiences sound terrifying! I would have had so much anxiety dealing with all that. The country sounds divine in comparison.

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse

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    1. I think once people start understanding how they work, they'll realize how useful they are, plus, they don't require electricity and never go out. (:

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  21. I found my palms sweating and my heart racing just looking at that picture of the circle. I'd still be there, in the far right lane while some 90 year-old Frencwoman "meeped" at me.

    Loved your meep meep line.

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    1. LOL! I can actually picture that, only it was me driving. And thanks for stopping in. :D

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  22. Driving while aggressive. Hmmm. Sounds dangerous to me, but I've driven in Paris, and you're absolutely so right. I think I closed my eyes on one pass around the circle things. Too hard to watch all of those cars converging on me.

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    1. I didn't close my eyes, but I may have broken some kind of record for holding my breath, lol! :D

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  23. Um huh? If I ever get to Paris...you're driving. :)

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    1. No problem! It'd be so fun! Or, we could take the metro. (; Now, just come on over!!

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  24. OMG! It's that bad? I can't even drive on the streets in suburban Britain because I'm so bad. I'd hate to think what I'd be like in Paris.

    And I really hate roundabouts. I also live in Britain where they're EVERYWHERE!

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    1. Kamille! How are you! And yes, it's that bad. But like I've mentioned before, the metro really is a good substitute if you can handle the occasional "strange" odor, lol! :D

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  25. That picture of the roundabout in at the Place de l’Etoile reminds me of the one in the movie European Vacation where they get stuck in a similar fashion in London. They just kept going round and round - looking at Big Ben and Parliament.

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  26. Excellent post--laughed out loud :) Yep, driving is a culture shock in itself. I'm originally from Mexico but live in a Caribbean island now, and there's a learning curve. The one thing that still makes me twist myself into knots: when people don't signal their turns. What do they think the blinkers are for? Christmas decorations?? :D

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  27. I hate driving just the highways here in central USA. I couldn't imagine driving in Paris. Yikes! Thanks for making me laugh and sharing this with us.

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  28. DL is my next stop. :) I'm headed over there now. I think Rome is worse to drive in. Those drivers scare me, but Paris is bad.

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  29. They've started putting in roundabouts in our area--and boy, do people complain about them. Personally, I think they work a lot better than intersections.

    Driving in Paris sounds crazy!

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  30. I've visited Paris and there's not way in you know where that you would be able to convince me to drive there. :D

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