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| Give me the nutella and no one will get hurt. |
The fabulous Carolyn Brown at C.M. Brown and Tammy Theriault over at Tammy Theriault both tagged me with the "U Got That Look" meme. Thanks ladies for thinking of me (:
This meme is pretty simple, you have to track down the word "look" in your current wip and post the surrounding paragraphs. Then hit 5 other people with the meme.
Ok, since my current wip is in the hands of my editor, I'll give you guys a taste of a short story I've been pulling my hair out over working on. This is not a first draft, it's a raw draft. I'm trying to get it finished by Christmas but I know it needs tons of work, but what the heck, here's an excerpt.
********
... But one
night, the wizard noticed something different about Flame’s light—it had begun to fade. A foreign emotion had woven itself into Flame's heart and began to fester. It was called melancholy.
Worried about his friend, the wizard took out one of his finest sheets of
vellum, so thin and translucent it even allowed Flame’s pale and fragile light to pass
through. The wizard laid the vellum on the desk and rolled up his sleeves. He
then aimed his wand and mumbled a few magical sounds into his long grey beard. The
tip of the wand began to glow like smoldering embers, growing brighter and
brighter. Flame looked on with intense curiosity
for this was the first time he’d ever seen the wizard cast a real spell. Suddenly, a blue ray of light left the glowing wand and infused the vellum with magic. The
delicate sheet began to tremble. Then it started to fold upon itself,
twisting and unfolding, creasing and bending, over and over until at last a recognizable figure was crated—a delicate vellum girl know simply as, Vellum.
She lay on the
table, asleep, just outside Flame’s light. Eyes wide with wonder Flame pushed
his light further out, wrapping the girl in his warm glow. The sudden warmth made
Vellum stir and her large eyes fluttered open. Attracted to the source of the
light, she met Flame’s gaze and instantly his heart swelled with a mix of
emotion he had never felt before. The wizard smiled, put away his wand, and went
back to his manuscripts satisfied that all traces of melancholy had been cast from his friend's heart.
******
Alright, next up are the lovely:
Here's hoping you still have some hair left. =) Cute little piece here.
ReplyDeleteMagic! I like it. Very descriptive.
ReplyDelete"A foreign emotion had woven itself into Flame's heart and began to fester. It was called melancholy."
ReplyDeleteI just love the way you gave life to the word "melancholy." :)
I agree with Alex - this was so very descriptive. I loved it and I love your blog :)
ReplyDeleteThat's a great passage that you chose. I'd hate to see how many "looks" are in a section of my manuscript. My characters are always staring.
ReplyDeleteCrystal: I've got a few strands left and of course, they're the grey ones. :P
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping in and commenting. (:
Alex: Thanks Alex! (:
Linda: Thank you Linda, glad you liked it. (:
Optimistic Existentialist: Thanks for stopping in and for the kind words. And glad you like the post and the blog. (:
Michael: I was surprised to see just how many "look" words I used in my ms when I did a search and find. Definitely something to be on the LOOKout for. (:
Elise, you're the best! Really nice work. I'm SO stoked for you! :-)
ReplyDeleteNice bit of writing.
ReplyDeleteOoo that was excellent! I love Vellum and totally want to read more!
ReplyDeleteI love how Vellum became her name. It's what she was, hints at her personality, and what she is to become. Wonderful!
ReplyDeleteReally loved the excerpt, Elise! Though I'm a sucker for anything with magic in it. :-)
ReplyDeleteOoo. I like it! :D
ReplyDeleteMorgan: Awww, thanks hon! (:
ReplyDeleteRichard: Thank you Richard, I appreciate that.
Mina: I wish I could show you the rest, but it still needs a lot of work! Glad you liked the excerpt though!
Jenn: Oh, so glad you enjoyed Vellum! (:
E.J. I've got a soft side for magic too. (: Glad you liked the excerpt.
Melissa: Thanks Melissa! (:
Oh great piece! I may have to go back through my wip and search for the word "look." I guarantee I've used it way too much :)
ReplyDeleteOh me too! I was floored as to how many times "look" popped up in my wip. The word "that" is another one to watch, it can come up needlessly as well.
DeleteSo sweet! And I got a vivid image in my mind of how Vellum came to be. Dig it!
ReplyDeleteSome Dark Romantic
Great work here! Nice descriptions. I could picture it all perfectly!
ReplyDeleteNice excerpt. I hope the hair pulling comes to an end soon.
ReplyDeleteyou deserved that tag, you're an awesome writer!!
ReplyDeleteMina: Thanks Mina, just wish I could get the rest of it cleaned up. (;
ReplyDeleteJackie: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. (:
MJ. This short is really driving me nuts. I'll eventually get it finished, but I may have to wear a wig afterwards, I'm thinking Marge Simpson... @@@@:^)
Tammy: Aww, thanks hon. And you are???? (;
Hey, Elise, I like it. It speaks to love and friendship. Nice excerpt.
ReplyDeleteI loved it. Great writing.
ReplyDeleteWow! That was fantastic :) I don't remember seeing your writing before and I was curious. Thanks for sharing your writing!
ReplyDeleteI know how it feels when you're dealing with a deadline. Hope you can get your story done by Christmas. My second novella is due at the end of this month. (I'm seeking bloggers for The Next Big Thing. (You blog about your work in progress on Dec. 4) Leave a comment at my blog if you're interested.)
ReplyDeleteThe Next Big Thing
J.L. Love and friendship are definitely the two main themes in this piece. Glad you liked it. (:
ReplyDeleteSally: Thank you! (:
Rose: Thanks Rose, this is just a little something I'm playing around with while I wait for my edits...patience is something I'm not real good at. (:
Jolie du Pre: Oh, how exciting to be coming out with your second novella! And stressful as I can only imagine. Thanks for stopping by. I've already been tagged with the Next Big Thing meme, but thanks for asking. Good luck with your novella!
Ooooh, NICE!!! Glad I stumbled upon your blog! :)
ReplyDeleteHi Laura, glad you stumbled on over! (: I'm a frequent stalker on your site and really liked the cover of your book New Pride!
DeleteLove the excerpt! Nice job!
ReplyDeleteGreat excerpt!)) That is the coolest idea!~
ReplyDeletea gooder... but... if that wiz is so good, why can he not just conjure up full mss, magically, instead of penning em? :P lol
ReplyDeleteSherry: Thanks Sherry!
ReplyDeleterunning4him: I appreciate the comment, glad you liked the excerpt! (:
lawolf: My dear wuff, no one said anything about penning anything. :P (;
uh... true dat :P
DeleteLove the excerpt! Very visual--I could totally see it!
ReplyDeleteThat was a really cool excerpt, Elise. :D
ReplyDeleteMan it's nice seeing your name in lights! And if its at the bottom of a cool excerpt all the better!
ReplyDeleteVery nice and intriguing work! I love the magical atmosphere you created.
ReplyDeleteMeradeth: I appreciate the comment, thanks Meradeth!
ReplyDeleteStina: Thanks, glad you liked it. (:
D.S. Aww thanks D, you're awesome. Hope you'll be able to play as well. (:
Nick: Thanks, I appreciate that. (:
Thanks for the tag, Elise -- sorry it's taken me so long to get here! This is a really intriguing excerpt, with some vivid description :-)
ReplyDelete