Monday 23 April 2012

T for True Bug

All Bugs are Insects
But Not All Insects are Bugs.

1) Insects belonging to the order Hemiptera are often called true bugs. This is the only time you can call an insect a bug and be scientifically correct. :D 
© Copyright Lairich Rig and
 licensed for 
reuse under Creative Commons Licence

2) Hemiptera comes from Greek meaning half wing, referring to the wings that are hardened at the base but membranous at the tips. When the wings fold over the back of the insect, they form a distinct triangle shape. 

3) Another defining characteristic of true bugs are the modified sheathed mouth parts forming a piercing-sucking rostrum. True bugs use the rostrum to pierce into their prey or into plants to suck out fluids.

4) Hemiptera include some of the following bugs:  Waterscorpions, Backswimmers, Water boatman, Water striders, Stink bugs, Boxelder bug.


Below is a flash fiction piece for you (~550 wrd). I decided to continue with Billy and Roach. Not sure if you remember them from my B post. If you haven't read the first Billy and Roach and have a bit of time, you can get to it Here. Anyway, I'm using the same model which is strictly dialogue, no speech tags, and loads of awful stereotypes and bad language (gasp). Sometimes it's fun to let the ridiculous flow from the pen. It gets it out of my system so I can move onto more intellectual prose (<==eye rolling). Anyway, this is supposed to be fun and not at all serious. Please let me know if you were offended in the comment box so I can have a good laugh. (;

"Billy, Billy look at me. I have something very important to tell you. Now, it may come to you as a surprise, but I’ve met someone."

"Is this a joke?"

"No, it’s not. Now let me finish. I’ve met someone special but she’s not Blattella germanica like me.  In fact, she’s not even a cockroach. Oh, dear God…she’s a bug. Her name is Flora, and I think I’m in love with her. There, I said it."

"BAHAHAAhahahahah! You had me going there Roach. For a second I thought you were going to say she’s a hippo."

"Heavens no. Where the devil would we put a hippo? Anyway, I’ve invited her over tonight and was hoping you could be a good chap and... I don’t know…put some clothes on and go to the cinema or the pub if you prefer, just for a few hours.  I even found change in the laundry bin that’ll do."

"You’re bringing over some bug tail tonight and expect me to leave? Oh hell no. Sorry, not going anywhere. Besides, I gotta see what our dumb writer whipped up for you. You’ve always been her favorite. God I hate her."

"Not this again."

"Well, look at me. My life is shit, Cindy leaves me for the..."

"Mailman. Yes. I know. Tragic."

"And now you get a girl... bugfriend? What the Hell!"

"Billy, I don’t have time for this. However, if you insist on staying do be cordial or at the very least be mute. Yes, mute will do… No better yet, can you drink yourself into a self induced coma before she arrives? I’ll clean the wax out of your ears for a week."

"Don’t worry about me Don Juan, I’ll be as quiet as a wall flower."

"Why do I have a sinking feeling that I’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake? Wait. I hear something. It’s her! Flora’s here and she’s early! Quick get some bloody clothes on!"

"Why? It’s my apartment. Are you insecure about something little guy?"

"Insecure? What are you talking…Oh, of course not! How repulsive and completely juvenile."

"I’m not moving off this couch."

"Useless tosser."

"Bring the little lady in."

"Bonjour Roach. I'm so sorry I'm early, I just couldn't wait to see you again!"

"Hello Flora, I'm glad you're here. You look positively lovely this evening as always. Allow me to introduce you to the human I live with, its name is Billy."

"Bonjour, Monsieur Billy."

"Holly shit lady, you've got one hell of a schnoz on ya."


"Billy! You promised."

"I'm sorry, I can't help it. Just look at it."

"It's not her nose you inbred, it's her mouth."


"Ca suffit! Comment osez vous me parler comme ça!"

"Flora love, I'm so sorry. Billy is under a lot of medication and is obviously delusional. Let me take you to the central dump and make it up to you."

"Did you say dump, cause that's exactly what I'm smelling right now. Is that you Roach?"

"Do shut up Billy. Every time you open your mouth you manage to champion stupidity and ...wait. You're right. What is that smell?"

"It tiz me. I'm sorry. I cannot help it. When I get upset I have zs nervous gas."

"Huh...nerve gas? I think I'll go catch a movie after all...or five. Bye!" 

"He's gone. The neanderthal has left. You did it my darling, you were fantastic! Now come here and let me wrap my six arms around your deliciously repugnant bug body...grrrrrrr."

"Oooo la la, Roach..."



  1. Love it - especially the last line. I'll be smiling all day now.

  2. My complete terror of roaches kept me from finishing the post. I'm talking, if a roach visits, I leave my home. Crippling fear. I saw the picture and nearly dropped my laptop. I can jump out of planes, mountain bike, backpack, or anything else. Just NO roaches. :) Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm a new follower.

    BTW - Can't even watch WallE

    1. Oh No! I'm so sorry, not the effect I was looking for. But you're not alone, many people have this type of phobia. Luckily I don't write exclusively about roaches lol. And thanks for the follow, I'll be sure to stop by and visit your blog today! (:

  3. Great bug lesson, and I loved the story! I'm trying to visit all the A-Z Challenge blogs this month. My alphabet is at

  4. That was hilarious! It would make a good cartoon. You have a gift for comic scriptwriting. In fact, you're talented at lots of things, lucky you!

    I'd heard about the specifications for a true bug before. Always thought it was neat how the wings folded over.

  5. Very cute and clever. "Holly shit lady, you've got one hell of a schnoz on ya." LOL. love it.

  6. Your dialogue is verrrry natural... it's not forced at all. Really great work, Elise! And I'm loving all your brilliant posts. :D

  7. Oooh bugs. I'll pass on em every time. Great flash fiction piece.

  8. Hahaha this was hilarious! Loved it!

    New follower :)

  9. This is priceless, Elise! I loooove it! The dialogue flows effortlessly...
    One of the bloggers made a comment which is so true - you're very good at scriptwriting and could create an entire comic series around these characters... throw in an illustrator and BOOM!

    (Can you believe it... only 6 more posts left - I can't wait!! Phew!)

    1. *blushing* really? Too bad I don't know any illustrators who'd want to draw cockroaches lol!


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