The view is always sweeter with a little support. |
The first Wednesday of every month is Insecure Writer's Support Group day created by Alex J. Cavanaugh.
Some of you may already know I'm on a mini vacation, back in the States, and visiting my Dad (happy dance). But what you don't know is I still haven't shown him this blog since starting it last February. Not only that, he has never read my wip (with the exception of the first few pages I wrote two years ago). My mother, has never read a single word. And most people I know off-line, don't even know I write. Why? Because what if I'm a failure as a writer? To say I'm an insecure writer is an understatement. But you know what? Things are starting to change.
I was given a bit of advice from a wonderful woman I met on the plane coming over. She was a therapist, originally from New York, who was also an artist AND writer. She reminded me that all writers are insecure, even the ''big" names. What's important she said, is what you do with that information. In other words, don't let your insecurity become an obstacle that keeps you from writing. And if you truly want to write, you won't let it.
You know that amazing feeling you get when you write something that comes together perfectly? It doesn't happen to me often, but I love that feeling in fact, I'm addicted to it. Addicted to words that when placed in a certain sequence makes me vibrate. I truly want to become a good writer. So last night, my Dad took me to his writer's group and I read the flash fiction piece I wrote for my V post to everyone there. Guess what? I survived and now wish there was a writer's group where I live. Things are starting to change, more important, I think I'm starting to change. Will that effect my writing? It sure will. Am I insecure about that? Yes, but I'll save that for another IWSG post. (;
I haven't shown my parents my blog or my stuff for several years. One, they're not interested. Two, they think it's a hobby. Funny, I've been to tons of writer conferences and yet they've gone to nothing for their hobbies. I've put myself out that and risked rejection. They've hidden their hobbies at home. Hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteIt took me a year to admit I'm a writer. I'm proud of what I do, but it is intimidating too. Especially when the person asks if they've read my book (ha! as if I'd know).
You know that saying "If you build it, they will come?" I think it fits here. I never told people I was a writer either until a few years ago. Then I muscled up the courage and started saying it. And guess what? Now they believe me...AND take me seriously as one. If you say it, you will begin to feel it, as will your family and friends. Oh and by the way, the only failure in writing, is not writing.
ReplyDeleteI joined a writing group a year ago and it has been a huge help. Why don't you start one? Put a notice up in your public library. I bet you will be surprised how many folks reach out to you.
Yessss! This post makes me so happy, Elise! You share. Share, share, share, your work. You ARE a writer. It's what you do. I want to meet that lady on the plane and give her a high five. (If people still do that)
ReplyDeleteHmmm...all writers are insecure? That's an interesting concept. It may be true.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, Elise! I think admitting it is the hardest part, at least for me. I'm getting better at saying I'm a writer. Practicing in the mirror helps. :) (I don't really do that, I'm too insecure.) LOL
ReplyDeleteI think that it's so cool that you attended a writer's group with your dad!
ReplyDeleteIt's reassuring to know that published writers also have insecurities, although I think it's on a smaller scale... or is it?
I also hide my writing from the world...
At least the online writers don't really know me, so I feel safer exposing my work here... (that's what I think)...
I think authors of top selling books are under a lot of pressure to keep producing the same kinds of novels. The bar is set and most fear their next book will never be as good as the first. Besides, if writers were not insecure, would we be seeking help from people like editors to polish up our MS? Just a thought.... (:
DeleteWell done! I learned pretty quickly that writing/blogging was "my thing" and that people I know are happy for me, but it's not "their thing." And then I found all you awesome people! And writing is "our thing."
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to know we're all insecure. Helps me feel a little less lonely. I'm still terrible at saying I'm a writer though.
ReplyDeleteI share your insecurities and your addiction. (but not to bugs :P) Great post! :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you are having a good time then Elise.
ReplyDeleteMy family has no interest in my blogging. Perhaps they are just glad that I found an outlet to blah blah blah so they don't have to listen.
We're interested, and we listen! (:
DeleteMaybe they'll come around someday.
I don't think many of my close friends or even my husband has seen my blog or read anything that I've written. I'm super insecure, but I don't let it get me down. That is the key. Let it give you strength to move forward.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes.
...that is one of the most important aspects of attending your local writer's group, crossing that fear factor hurdle. It's that feeling of surviving a rough afternoon at the dentist. Upon leaving, one feels as though they can challenge a lion's pride. It's invigorating ;)
ReplyDeleteEl
Right on! (:
DeleteThose little reminders are always so helpful. It's so easy to get caught up in the "what ifs". And it is always the negative "what ifs" not the positive ones too!
ReplyDeleteI agree. The -What Ifs, can be awful. Need to stay focused on more + vibes....
DeleteIt is so easy to be overcome with feeling of inadequacy, but you can't let them win. Keep writing and don't stop!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ciara, and you're right, I keep telling myself that. I think as fatigue and stress go up, the feeling of insecurity takes over. Thanks for stopping in. (:
DeleteI know the feeling--and yes, it's wonderful. :)
ReplyDeleteHooray for the positive change!
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ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your valuable insights. I wish I was brave enough to go along to a writers group and share my work. Very inspiring stuff you mention.
ReplyDeleteI am beginning to accept the voices of insecurity as part of the deal with writing. Thanks again. Cheers