Wednesday 4 April 2012

Doubt and the fear of Disappointing: IWSG

This is my moan and groan post for IWSG<==click here for more info about the support group. 

The A-Z Dead Fly Art post is below.

 I feel like I’m on a mobius strip. The landscape may change at the twist, but I’m not moving forward. I’m simply going around in circles. Moving from doubt to a fear of disappointing. I doubt everything about my writing. Everything. Then there is the fear of dissapointing. Disappointing who? I don’t know. You, her, him, them… everyone I guess. And I know this is preposterous because no one can please everyone all the time. And one may argue that no one can please everyone, period.

I wonder if part of my problem is my background. I have an MS in Entomology. BUGS for Christ sakes. I wrote my thesis on the feeding and foraging behaviors of a specific pest ant species in the hopes, of laying down the foundation for a promising ant bait. A far cry from literature, journalism, creative writing, or anything else related to the page. Now don’t get all fired up at me over this. I’m not judging anyone else who may for example, have a computer science background and happens to be an author. That is really great and I’m happy for them, truly. But my thoughts here are projected internally, at my reflection that borders the imposture syndrome.  I could go on for another volume or two but I’ll stop here. Besides, you all think I’m crazy enough.  Now go check out the dead fly art!


  1. We can't please everyone. We just have to hope we please ourselves.
    Thanks for joining the IWSG!

  2. What was Dr. Suess's quote..."Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Words to live by...

  3. Man... I soooooo *get* this... I feel like I'm here every other day with my writing ;) And man, interesting background you have! I'd be curious to see how your education is reflected in your writing!

  4. Elise,

    Your post made me think of my dad. His Master's degree was in public health, and he studied Entomology in his coursework. He was also one of the most avid readers of books I have ever known. He loved them all, the classics and the modern ones, zipped through books left and right. I'll bet that knowledge feeds your imagination.

    Good luck to you, and great post!

  5. Just to clarify, I meant I'll bet that knowledge of entomology feeds your imagination. Thanks!

    1. No worries, I understood what you meant. And that's awesome about your Dad. You should pick his brain about insects. (:

  6. I love the dead fly art.

    I share the same doubts as you, and the only thing that's helped is thinking of my WIP as something I'm writing to be read by someone exactly like me. In other words, I'm writing the book I'd want to read. So as long as I'm writing what I want and not something I feel I'm supposed to, I can't disappoint myself.

    1. That is a very interesting perspective, one I had never considered. I'm going to try this and thanks for stopping by!

  7. Boy, do I have days like that. :/ But pushing through the negativity is getting easier. :)
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  8. I agree with Tarah. It's so easy - especially if you tend to occasionally, accidentally, sometimes read review on, say, Amazon, or Goodreads - and can see how much people can dislike a book. But the truth is there are so many people out there that will love it. After all, you wouldn't be writing your book if you didn't like the content. So imagine other readers like you, and how excited they'd be to find something like your writing. They've hit the jackpot!

  9. I could write a volume or two about the feeling of negativity. My arts degree background never taught me about the special authors mantra, which helps you create great literature. I was deceived damn it!

    I have so much respect for people (like you) who are honest about that burning desire to write no matter what. I always view my writing as my heaven or sanctuary. Like a few people and what Tarah already mentioned - if you write for yourself, write what you would enjoy reading, who could you disappoint? Thanks for your post Elise.

  10. Jackie: You're right. Sometimes we need a good push to part ways with negativity. Thanks for stopping by!

    DV Sheppard: Thanks for your thoughts. It's true about the book reviews. Varying opinions can be so vast on the same book. It gives me hope! (:

    Clay: There's a special authors mantra!? (; Thanks for stopping by and for your kind words. And if you come across that mantra, let us know! (=


Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment!
Comments are the best. Well, the nice ones are. (:
I do my best to reply to everyone either via e-mail,
directly in the comment box or by leaving a comment
on your site. Chat with you soon!

Also, not interested in your spam. Really, I'm not interested.

J'écris, donc je suis (:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...